in medias res

"Here I Go Again On My Ooooowwnn..."

Quick Updates:

It’s been too long. The stories have piled up so high that the time (and attention) it would take to go through everything recent is more than I can handle. And we all know that I’m often the first person to lose interest in my own story, and make everyone else follow suit.

First of all, after a miserable couple of months since I’ve known that I actually have a choice for my Ph.D., I’ve made a decision. Many of you may have thought that I made the decision already based on the fact that I called everyone and bought a t-shirt and cups (my “I’m going to UF!” stage), and then became so sad about leaving that I left everything in the bag on my floor (my “I’m going to FSU!” stage). I do better without a choice. A big thank you to all the friends who have talked me back and forth about this, the professors who offered their wisdom, and the strangers who asked and had no idea what they were getting themselves into. My apologies, too.

I’m going to the University of Florida in Gainesville.



However, since many people (outside of Florida) don’t know the difference between the two, you probably thought I was going there already. No need to take down that mental post-it – now it’s true. And I haven’t been calling people to tell them; I’m sick of bugging everyone about it.

Ultimately, it came down to the move that would help me have the best career options in four years. Unless you’re an academic rockstar (or working with one), it doesn’t look great that you stay with one program the whole way through. Every time I heard someone disprove this theory, I got excited and decided to stay. Even then, I was disappointed in myself for giving in to fear.

I’m sad to leave the friends I’ve made here, but they’re leaving this year or next year anyway. The grad lounge in the Williams building will fill with strangers and I’ll feel strange. While I am not nearly as endeared to these professors as I am to my old G-dubb professors, I have become more comfortable with them than when I first started.

Now, I’m off to a whole new level of uncomfortable.

I’ll save my goodbyes for later.

In other news, I am still recovering from a spontaneous weekend excursion (remember them??) to Memphis last weekend. Late Thursday night, Mike and I were discussing the emotional disadvantages of our respective geographic locations. When we got off the phone at 2, I (very poorly) packed a bag. I got in touch with his best Memphis friend to let him in on my little plan and, after three hours of sleep and 6 hours of work, I packed up the Camry and headed west on I-10.

Along the way, I gave detailed descriptions of the night out on the town I was having with the girls, even though I was sure he could hear the driving rain of the Mississippi/Tennessee storms in the background. Remember the storms that killed several people last weekend? Tara’s luck: I drove right through them. My brother and my roommate both kept me updated on the tornado warnings. I decided it was not a good time to catch up on my movie-watching. Or my grading.
At a very tired 1am, I walked up to his house and started pounding on the door. Initially, he did not appreciate my excitement and I could hear his grumblings. He jumped as soon as he opened the door. He looked at me, looked at my car, looked at me, looked at my car, and then it hit him. I got a really great hug (one where your feet come off the ground). It was a great trip.

Saturday, we made breakfast at his buddy’s place, and then all three of us hopped in his blazer and headed down to Oxford, Mississippi. We spent a couple of hours at Rowan Oak – Faulkner’s home. Did you know that he has the plot sequence to one of his books written on the walls of his office? Brilliant. Then, Mike and two other Memphis students read their work at Ole Miss. (He’s so good!) We went to an after-party that served Cosmos and wine, and, late that night, pulled back into Memphis. The next day, we went to a friend’s co-ed surprise baby shower, and I left around 4pm. Very sad. Another two hours of sleep on Sunday night and that (kind of) brings you to right now.

Now…when I’m packing up a bag for a conference in Atlanta at 8am tomorrow, then to Charleston for the weekend.

It just doesn’t stop.

And now, I’ve really lost interest in my own stories, so…for now…

Love and decisiveness,

Tara

posted by tara @ 3:54 PM