50 Ways to Finish Your Thesis
Paul Simon, my apologies for this bastardization. I call it therapy.Some of these names*, you will not find in a baby book - unless it is a really bad baby book.
"'The problem is all inside your head,' she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to [finish your thesis]
She said it's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to [finish your thesis]
Fifty ways to [finish your thesis]..."
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to [finish your thesis]
She said it's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to [finish your thesis]
Fifty ways to [finish your thesis]..."
1. Start over from scratch, Hatch.
2. Just get a new ploy, Roy.
3. Don't answer your phone, Joan.
4. Jump off a bridge, Midge.
5. Divorce facebook, Brook.
6. Wait 'til you're crazy, Daisy.
7. Don't get mad, Thad.
8. Eschew The Boy, Joy.
9. Avoid The Girl, Earl.
10. Disown your blog, Dawg.
11. You gotta get fierce, Pierce.
12. Don't get sad, Lad.
13. Avoid depression, Lalalaression.
14. Go to church, Lurch.
15. Or the coffee pub, Bub.
16. Don't ever sleep, Peep.
17. Or go for a run, Hun.
18. Pour yourself a stiff drink, Link.
19. Start a new fad, Tad.
20. Write an email, Dale.
21. Go for a trip, Kip.
22. Apply for a job, Bob.
23. Forget how to think, Pink.
24. Over-research, Perch.
25. Make a long list, Chris.
26. Get a little silly, Billy.
27. Have some fun, Sun.
28. Go ride a bike, Mike.
29. Embrace crack, Zack.
30. Search for Truth, Ruth.
31. Find someone to blame, Jame.
32. Exfoliate your feet, Veet. *
33. Make out your will, Jill.
34. Make yourself sick, Nick.
35. Long for thinner thighs, Bligh.
36. Put on the kibosh, Josh.
37. Climb the highway to heaven, Evan.*
38. Decide you're intellectually sterile, Darryl.
39. Practice being curt, Bert.
40. Start to get fat, Matt.
41. Write a poem about fizz, Lizz.*
42. Re-read The Bell Jar, Lamar.
43. Watch Who's the Boss, Ross.
44. Live like a bat, Kat.
45. Obsess over your fanny, Danny.
46. Long for a hug, Doug.
47. Decide it's all a fluke, Luke.
48. Pull some weeds, Edes.*
49. Find your way, Jay.*
50. Don't make me cry, Rai.*
*All names are fictional and have no correspondence to real characters in the Life of Tara, with the exception of the asterisked peeps. Veet is short for Vita, my new friend. There is no real correlation between her and feet. Evan plays in a local band, Lizz is a writer, Edes (also a writer, even though she doesn't know it yet) loves yardwork, Jay was in the Coffee Pub as I wrote this, and Rai is my major professor. He is a kind man who would never intentionally make me cry.
The final one for me: BE YOUR OWN BOSS, HOSS!
Bossing myself into productivity.
P.S. - MY YOUNGEST BROTHER, CHRIS, GOT ENGAGED THIS PAST WEEKEND! It's a beautiful story - I'll have to tell it later. Here is a picture of the happy couple.
posted by tara @ 12:39 PM
5 Comments:
It is true...i do love yardwork. -e-
dude. i'm linking to your blog.
Hey my lady friend, I believe that it's, oh, August? Must be time for an update.
Tara, you need to update so I know you're not dead. I don't have any friends who would tell me if you were. If you don't update within a week, I will assume that you died and Bruiser ate your body to keep from starving. That's a horrible thought to think; please don't make me think it.
Ok T...you've gotta update this thing...
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