in medias res

50 Ways to Finish Your Thesis

Paul Simon, my apologies for this bastardization. I call it therapy.
Some of these names*, you will not find in a baby book - unless it is a really bad baby book.



1. Start over from scratch, Hatch.
2. Just get a new ploy, Roy.
3. Don't answer your phone, Joan.
4. Jump off a bridge, Midge.
5. Divorce facebook, Brook.
6. Wait 'til you're crazy, Daisy.
7. Don't get mad, Thad.
8. Eschew The Boy, Joy.
9. Avoid The Girl, Earl.
10. Disown your blog, Dawg.
11. You gotta get fierce, Pierce.
12. Don't get sad, Lad.
13. Avoid depression, Lalalaression.
14. Go to church, Lurch.
15. Or the coffee pub, Bub.
16. Don't ever sleep, Peep.
17. Or go for a run, Hun.
18. Pour yourself a stiff drink, Link.
19. Start a new fad, Tad.
20. Write an email, Dale.
21. Go for a trip, Kip.
22. Apply for a job, Bob.
23. Forget how to think, Pink.
24. Over-research, Perch.
25. Make a long list, Chris.
26. Get a little silly, Billy.
27. Have some fun, Sun.
28. Go ride a bike, Mike.
29. Embrace crack, Zack.
30. Search for Truth, Ruth.
31. Find someone to blame, Jame.
32. Exfoliate your feet, Veet. *
33. Make out your will, Jill.
34. Make yourself sick, Nick.
35. Long for thinner thighs, Bligh.
36. Put on the kibosh, Josh.
37. Climb the highway to heaven, Evan.*
38. Decide you're intellectually sterile, Darryl.
39. Practice being curt, Bert.
40. Start to get fat, Matt.
41. Write a poem about fizz, Lizz.*
42. Re-read The Bell Jar, Lamar.
43. Watch Who's the Boss, Ross.
44. Live like a bat, Kat.
45. Obsess over your fanny, Danny.
46. Long for a hug, Doug.
47. Decide it's all a fluke, Luke.
48. Pull some weeds, Edes.*
49. Find your way, Jay.*
50. Don't make me cry, Rai.*

*All names are fictional and have no correspondence to real characters in the Life of Tara, with the exception of the asterisked peeps. Veet is short for Vita, my new friend. There is no real correlation between her and feet. Evan plays in a local band, Lizz is a writer, Edes (also a writer, even though she doesn't know it yet) loves yardwork, Jay was in the Coffee Pub as I wrote this, and Rai is my major professor. He is a kind man who would never intentionally make me cry.

The final one for me: BE YOUR OWN BOSS, HOSS!

Bossing myself into productivity.

P.S. - MY YOUNGEST BROTHER, CHRIS, GOT ENGAGED THIS PAST WEEKEND! It's a beautiful story - I'll have to tell it later. Here is a picture of the happy couple.

posted by tara @ 12:39 PM 5 comments

Please Don't Hit the Crazy Duck

I have a much longer blog waiting in the wings for some clarification and refinement and word haggling. For now, I will just continue with a quick update and a moment of happiness for me.

Update #1: I will not be going to school next year. I feel good about this decision, even though it involved much hands-wringing and waffling. More on the specifics of that later.

Update #2: I will be in TWO fabulous weddings this summer: Jodi Thomas and Tisha Warren. I am very excited about this! It gives me something to look forward to while I diet and exercise.

Update #3: I am in the last throes of my thesis, which I just described to someone as feeling like I'm wrestling with a greasy hippo in a jello pit. I will post a more substantial post once it is in the hands of my committee and off of my "To Do" list. (Also, "thesis" kind of rhymes with "feces." I'm going to use that in a song or a poem soon.)

Update #4: Today, it hit me that I'm 26. If you're older than me, you're probably thinking "Baby!" If you're younger, you're probably thinking "Fogey!" I'm just thinking, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"
Time to wake-up and smell the decreasing metabolism.

Update #5: More animal crossing signs! I discovered today that I'm a huge snob about these. I am only amused by ones that are in the wild, and not ones that are produced for Gadzooks or Spencer's or some other intentionally goofy store. It's like buying your Krispy Kreme at a gas station. It's an abomination.

One of these is from my recent trip to Savannah - turtle crossing. My favorite one right now is of a mama duck (or a stay-at-home papa duck) and four baby ducks. One of the baby ducks is a wee bit harried. Since I also never behave for family pictures (see below), I feel a deep connection with this duck.


Now...I'm off to apply for graduation. Hollaaa!

posted by tara @ 11:48 AM 2 comments